Lauren Ellis Matthews – 2016 diary by an ex-resident – 3 of 6

2 Maggio
I am starting slowly to process the massive quantities of information from Louise, in French, on tantra:

You have to go places you don’t want to. This is the clé to open all the doors. You have to be entirely self-serving, it is only about you. We lose our root chakra which is what roots us, because of society, after age 2. And then after 2 years of being with someone we lose sexual desire for them.

All of my suspicions have been confirmed! The dancing as release and connection and authenticity and a clue. Bossy body body! That when you have no inhibitions about your body and its intention and connection, it changes the people around you.

I touch Sophia’s lovely flesh and want to touch deeper, skin to skin, but my saboteur retains me. Here is what it is:
At once,
You are just a body (not totemic)
&
WOW WHAT IS THIS COOL THING!

At the most perfect dinner in Florence, squash blossoms and rabbits and the real deal cozy italian corner, Sophia explains that what she most doesn’t want is to feel Confined and defined.

Because we all create rules and taboo and society, even at a villa. Freedom seldom comes.

Violet everywhere, says Martin at sunset, snow and mountains both. This place is so charged. Now I feel the nonsense. I’m turning mystical here. Your face looks different, he tells me. Florence has changed you. I think it was the tantra, I reply.